Multi-purpose blog. (January '07)

Alright, this blog is kind of a catch-up blog. Multiple topics, multiple perspectives. Try to keep up, sparky.

First of all, I got a job. On Monday I start as a landscape designer and consultant. I have minimal experience in this field, so it will probably be either an enlightening revelation or a colossal disaster. Either way I'll be getting a paycheck, so it's win-win for the Yankee.

Now as it happens, I've been in the process of applying for a government job for more than a year. One job, mind you. Sounds like a ridiculously long process for the selection of a public servant? You might be right, but who are you to question Big Brother? That's what I thought. Now sit down, Sally, before you get yourself in a pickle.

Any whooo...

One of the more recent developments in this whole federal job thing is the brand new Spanish language requirement. If selected, I would have to take a five-week course in conversational Spanish, providing that I did not test out of said requirement. You may not know that the Yankee has a bit of a background in conversational Spanish, so I elected to give the ol' test a try.

By the way, do you like the way I slip in and out of the third person? The Yankee thought as much.

So...the test. Today I had to call a gentleman in the great state of Vermont to engage in a series of structured conversations to test my ability to listen and converse intelligently in Spanish. This is all good as far as I am concerned, because while I may not be able to communicate intelligently at all times, I can at least fake it well enough get by for the purposes of this test.

The conversations covered such thrilling topics as where I live, how I might make reservations at a restaurant, what kind of clothes I like to wear, etc. At one point during the conversation, the interviewer asked me if there were any notable landmarks or attractions where I live. Naturally, my thoughts turned immediately to The Big Chicken in Marietta, GA.

As soon as I started talking about "El Pollo Grande," it occurred to me that this particular conversational tack was perhaps not the best for convincing this man that have it all together when it comes to his native tongue. He asks about notable landmarks, and I begin to converse about larger than average barnyard fowl. As soon as I realized this, I began to panic, and was scrambling (in another language, mind) to explain well enough to convince this man that there actually is a giant chicken in my town and that people come from far and wide to witness this humongous hen. I closed by stating something to the effect that all of the townspeople here in our village are very proud of our giant cock.

The interviewer was most delighted, and seemed to approve.

This seems like a great time to switch gears and tell you about two calls I received a couple of nights ago. A young lady, clearly from the southern US, called my phone and asked to speak to Terry Salisbury. I informed her that this was not the right number, and apologized for the inconvenience (a backwards pleasantry, I know.)

Mere moments later, I received a call from the same number. I answered in a way that indicated that I knew who was calling and that despite her best efforts, I was still not in fact the object of her conversational desires. The conversation then progressed as follows:

Her: Are you sure?

Me: Quite positive.

Her: For real?

Me: Never been more certain of anything in my life. Sorry (I know, I need to quit apologizing.)

Her: Well, this is a Georgia number, right?

Me: Yes, ma'am. Atlanta area, to be precise.

Her: Yeah, but it's a Georgia number, though?

Me: Still a Georgia number, yes.

Her: Well do you know Terry Salisbury?

Me: Not a bit. Never heard of him in my life.

Her: For real for real?

Me: Seriously. Not even kidding a little bit. I've never even heard of the guy.

Her: You're positive?

Me: Definitely.

Her: Okay, well if you meet him, tell him Da-Neesha called.

Me: Sure thing. Have a good night.

So that was surreal, but she was a nice enough lady, so I just kept the conversation going and did my best to help. I try to be kind that way.

I'm sure I have quite a bit more to say, but a phone call just derailed my train of thought (it was for me, not Terry,) so I'll have to pick things up in a future blog.

That's the latest for now. Good night, and wood ducks.