I'd like to apologize in advance for one more blog full o' gripes. I know I was in the habit of typing humorous rants and observations, but that's just not where I am right now.
In fact, I wouldn't really like to apologize, so I won't. This is my blog, damn it. If you don't like it, feel free to read elsewhere.
Moving on...
As many of you know, I've now been unemployed for two full months. I've applied to everything from jobs in non-profit orgs to jobs with political fund-raisers, from jobs with lawyers to jobs with landscapers, from jobs in the entertainment industry to jobs in the construction industry, from salaried office jobs to low-wage labor jobs, and not one has come a-callin'.
That's not my gripe, believe it or not. I just want to begin to bring you into my little world.
Hanging over all of this is the fact that we have more monthly bills than we have monthly income at the moment, so every month we're in a scramble to pull money out of thin air, just to avoid going into more debt--at least as long as we have the option of going deeper in debt.
Financial woes are not the extent of my current problems by any stretch, but for the purposes of illustration, they'll do.
To round out my little bowl o' mixed gripes, I'll add that there has been one employer that has shown a bit of interest in me. The Federal Government. I've applied for a federal law enforcement job and have talked with military recruiters. I've even taken tests and filled out a boatload of forms. Now I risk disqualification because I had knee surgery years and years ago. To remain qualified, I have to pay for orthopedic evaluations out of my own pocket with money I don't have--and here comes the kicker--for evaluations that might not keep me qualified anyway!
Do you have any idea what it feels like to have a college degree, years of varied work experience, off-the-charts test scores, and not even be able to get hired for public f***ing service?!?!
Believe it or not, all of that was just the lead in.
Read the above and try to put yourself in my shoes.
Now imagine that everywhere you go, almost every single day, someone asks you how things are going when things haven't changed in months. Then to top it all off, they smile with a pitying smile and say:
"I hope things get better! :)"
"I'll pray for you!"
"Gee, that's tough. But you know God has a plan in all this!"
"Wow, that's so hard, I really feel terrible for you!"
etc.
Not a day has gone by in the past few weeks that I haven't wanted to shove someone's sad eyes and pitying smile right back down their useless throats. Nothing makes life better than being reminded of my failure on a daily basis and then being goaded with platitudes and mindless prattle from a Hallmark card.
I'm not sure where this societal obsession with verbal affirmations came from, but I'd like to stand up publicly and say "YOU ARE NOT HELPING." There are times when words are a great help, but most of the time, from most of the populace, words of consolation and affirmation are just hot air designed to ease the social discomfort of someone who was taught that he or she has to say something in response to everything.
Silence can be golden.
I already assume that you wish the best for me. That's why I'm talking to you in the first place. If I thought you wished me great evil, then your words might be a pleasant surprise. As it is, you're just filling up perfectly good aural space.
Still, as bad as the platitudes may be, it's the attitude behind the platitude that really sets me off.
For most people, a little bit of hot air wasted is an opt-out of any assumed responsibility for others, and an effectual lie. It's a lot easier to say "I hope things get better for you" than to actually help make things better in any meaningful way.
Some people can't do anything, and those people are only guilty of the sin of mindless, socially acceptable prattle.
Many others, on the other hand, could very well do quite a bit, but never, ever would. These are the ones that piss me off the most. Oh, you wish you could help me out? Anything you can do to help? You wish me the best?
Great. I'll take all those wishes over to the bank and see what my creditors can do with them. While I'm at it, I'll take all those "thoughts" people have for me, and blast them out to potential employers and connections that they have. Of course you wouldn't think to actually speak to someone on my behalf, but I have your thoughts, so that's something, right?
I'm reminded of James 2:15-16. Those verses pop through my head every time one of the wealthy and well-connected people I run into from time to time decides to tell me that they are sure things will get better, or that they feel so bad for me. If you don't know the verses I'm talking about, just do a quick online search or look in your Bible if you have one.
Now, I don't want this to be all about negativity, so I'll add that I really appreciate those who have either given me positive wishes that actually rang of sincerity, or gone the extra mile and actually done something tangible to back those wishes up. Some people have actually done a great deal to help me out in various ways. I wish I could thank them enough, but I probably won't ever be able to communicate how much I appreciate them and the things they have done. Just the fact that a few have reached out has made a tremendous difference in my day-to-day mood. If I was really down in the dumps, I wouldn't be writing this blog. Venting frustrations is something I do when I'm annoyed, not when I'm seriously out of hope.
So I guess I need to bring this to some sort of conclusion...
Alright, I'll sum it up like this:
If you have something positive to say, and you really mean it, make an effort to say it in an original way. If someone has a need that you can meet, try to meet that need. If you aren't really up to that, at least save everyone the discomfort of having to play along with your social lie and don't say that you'll do anything in your power, or some such claptrap.
For those of us who see through the bullshit, little white lies do more harm than good.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment